Fundamentals

Addictions that I’m currently fighting, are drinking and smoking. I am currently writing my story and I’ll share it when it’s ready. Meanwhile, you can read what works for me in order to stay sober. These are some key principles that I try to follow. Adapt them to your own needs and situation.

Changing my mindset about alcohol and smoking is key

Alcohol and smoking are poisons and they have no real benefits. Giving them up is not a sacrifice, but a gain. I am not giving up anything good, I am gaining freedom from addiction.

Addiction is a disease. Giving them up is a positive thing and the right thing to do. Without them, I have access to my true self and can actually become a better version of myself.

Identify triggers and underlying reasons for the habit

Boredom, anxiety, social pressure, depression and the feeling that in the end, nothing really matters. However, I caused myself health issues (both physical and mental) and affected my well-being and I can’t keep going this way. It’s time for an opposite approach of what I’ve been doing for so many years.

While nothing may matter in the end, I still shouldn’t just live and suffer, but live and enjoy.

Recognize the benefits & reasons for giving up the habit

Every day, I read my reasons to stay sober and try to practice gratitude. When I am not in the mood to go through all of them, one is enough. Afterwards, I make a pledge, as a statement of intent.

Today I don’t set out trying not to drink and smoke, I make a conscious decision not to drink and smoke.

Set clear and achievable goals for quitting

Right now, I am taking it one day at a time, while also setting monthly goals for it. I’m tracking consumption in a spreadsheet, if a relapse happens. I’m using Google Sheets, but any tracking tool works.

While I recommend keeping track of relapses, because it is important, and I’ve been doing it for a few years already, keep in mind it is also tiring and time consuming, sometimes even demotivational. I won’t have to track anything if I no longer drink or smoke.

Use NA/NF variants when cravings hit/going out

Limited consumption, they’re still without any benefits and unhealthy in large quantities.

Seek support from friends, family, or professionals

• Use the r/stopdrinking & r/stopsmoking communities
• Check the resources and words of wisdom pages on this website
• Be honest with medical professionals
• Set boundaries with peers, if they don’t accept this, I cut them off

Replace the habit with healthier alternatives

Find something that I really enjoy doing. Exercise, hobbies, social activities, meditation, reading, learning new skills, etc. It can be anything as long as it keeps me engaged and away from the habit.

I’m doing my best to look at how many good things and activities I’m currently doing and I can always pick one as a replacement when cravings hit.

Establish a reward system for milestones reached

I’m rewarding myself with anything I want, as long as I can afford it. I can spend money on things that actually give me pleasure.

Give the “creepy voice” a name

When the “creepy voice” in my head starts telling me to drink or smoke, I try to recognize it for what it is: a manifestation of my addiction trying to convince me to relapse. It often uses fear, doubt, and temptation to lure me back into old habits. Mine is Patricia, inspired by this meme.

Patricia is not my friend and doesn’t want good things for me. I hear it when things are going well or I’m overwhelmed, but all it wants is to tear me down. I tell it not today. The voice is what it is, and I’m the one that allowed it to be a big part of my life for a long time. Not today though.